You will not realize the magnitude your actions have on others lives until those actions change the course of someone else's fate.
Recently I was reminded of how powerful a statement that really is. First, by a woman that I admire and truly respect as a professional and an individual. Secondly and coincidentally, I had the blessing of experiencing the impact of my own actions just days later. A few weeks ago, I was having a conversation with other moms in the therapy clinic while all of our children were with their respective therapists. The particular topic of the afternoon was IEP's. We were discussing strategy, comparing notes on who was getting what for their child and if they were happy with the services etc. Contrary to the school system's belief, parents DO talk. It is our right and in the best interest of our children if we keep our fingers on the pulse. With that said, ideas were exchanged, food for thought was provided and we all went on our way to our respective next stops in our hectic daily lives.
A few weeks later, I was at the clinic and it was a quite afternoon there for a change. Just one mother was there waiting for her child. We have seen each other in passing and always exchange pleasantries all with a smile that only a mother with children with special needs can recognize. The smile that imparts a thousand words; yes, I too did not get enough sleep last night because this is the 3rd night in a row my child was up at 2:00 am with the yeasty beasties. Or, I get it; I have had my limit of tantrums for the day as well. The list is endless as you can well imagine. This day however we had a chance to talk for a few minutes in a quite clinic.
She began to recount the day I described above regarding the discussion on IEP's, from her perspective. She was there that day too but did not join in the conversation. I vaguely recalled the day at first, my days seem to perpetually bleed into one another and can best be described as "Ground Hogs Day" ~ Pachorek Style. With that said, I did recall the day, sat, and listened to her concerns as a new mom dealing with IEP's. She has been plagued and overwhelmed with this nauseating feeling that she could not manage it all. That she was doing her child a disservice because she believed she was not well versed in the world of IEP's. This fear has had her paralyzed and as a result, has been so afraid of doing the wrong thing and did not know where to start. Until that day, it was her "aha" moment. With tears in her eyes, the mother then began to thank me for all that I did for her that day. I was perplexed at first, as we never did exchange words that day. I told her no thanks were necessary but I had to ask what she was thanking me for, as I had not really done anything at all. She said to me "Don't you get it! You always seem to be so relaxed, under control and seem to have it ALL together and your endless knowledge is inspiring. It then hit me; if you can do it with 2 boys then I KNOW I have the strength to do what I need to do for my child". I was humbled and at a loss for words. With that, we parted ways, as her son was finished for the day.
As I sat in the clinic alone, I was able to reflect. My actions in a casual conversation had a profound impact on someone's life and I was completely unaware. I was just being me, during the course of another average day. There once was another mother that I encountered when my first son was diagnosed with Autism to thank for my outlook. As I too was once, the women frozen in her tracks afraid to move for fear of a misstep and overwhelmed at the impact that Autism would FOREVER have on our lives. She has four children with Autism and she has the best outlook and unwavering faith. Her spirit is what drives me every day to reach farther and never give up hope.
Whether we want to acknowledge the fact or not, every day we step out into the world we impact other peoples lives by our actions and we have no idea and more than likely never will. That is quite a responsibility don't you think? It should give us pause in how we carry ourselves and the message we want to impart to those around us every day. Just think, this mom now has the fortitude to tackle one of the many daunting tasks that we as parents with special-needs face. Her confidence and actions will I am sure inspire others to do the same.
