As my kids take a few minutes to unwind from the crazy schedule of school and therapy this morning I wanted to take this time to share how my children reminded me that I am so very blessed to have them in my life, guiding me to be a better person and parent.
As a parent, the diagnosis of autism upends your world. Once you have moved passed the acceptance phase and you are ready to tackle autism head-on, it is a daily struggle to fight to heal your child, or children in my case. It is a relentless, labor-intensive and harrowing task, overwhelmingly performed by mothers, which tests the strength of marriages, the resilience of siblings and the endurance of the women themselves. The descriptive “warrior mothers” has recently been coined to describe these women. As the mother of 2 children with autism I would walk to the ends of the earth for them (as any other parent would, autism or not). While I recognize the significance in characterizing these mothers as “warrior mothers” I truthfully and humbly feel the real warriors are the children themselves. What we as parents and educators demand of them on a daily basis would make most people’s head spin.
While scientists debate what has caused the skyrocketing autism caseload - a real increase in cases, better diagnoses, environmental factors, vaccine injury or the decision not to institutionalize children with autism – regardless, there is no question that more and more families are raising “warrior children” and the number of these children is growing exponentially. I for one am humbled on a daily basis by the amazing things these children accomplish and the demands they meet. Despite their fears, anxieties, lack of ability to effectively communicate with their peers/family members, their confusion with the world around them, etc. they fight on everyday. They spend countless hours in therapy, endure biomedical treatments, start school at 3 yrs old and are asked to meet a list of goals and objectives that would make most cringe.
The children are the true warriors, the real fighters. I was reminded of that yesterday, as my younger son Shane struggled to tell me what he wanted. Despite his apraxia, and his obvious frustration, he fought off his inherent need to scream and instead he paused and struggled to get the words out “want juice”. Finally he managed an unprompted two word utterance. This was his latest personal Mt. Everest that he managed to climb and he was so proud of himself. While to some this would be a small feat, for us, that took countless hours of screaming, and tears on his part and mine, to get to that point. My older son Lucas has his own personal struggles as well. But he has come so far. A few years ago I was grief stricken at the thought that I might never hear him talk. Yet just now as I sit here and recount the events of yesterday that gave me pause, he walked in my office, took my face with both his hands, kissed me and said "I am so very happy, I love you mommy". Yes I am blessed. Sadly our autism story is not unique; there are millions of parents out there just like me that face the same struggles and obstacles on a daily basis.
Yesterday, amidst the daily shuffle of therapy for both kids, 2 different schools, transition meetings and IEP’s I had to step back and reflect. I am blessed; they teach me EVERY day what the true meaning of a warrior is. They are the true warriors, my heroes, my sons.
